Immediately after I posted this, I was alerted that black bears are tame compared to other bears. Since then I've decided I need a
death-by-bear chart. This more horrifying the way I'm dying, the worse the bear I'm going for.
And pandas and koalas are obviously off the list since neither are actually bears (and don't try that "drop bear" crap on me, Australians. I'm on to you). -R.